It’s August! We have finally arrived to the best month of the year! Yes, August is the best month because it my birthday month! Let’s party!!!
Before we hit the club and dance our booties off, I need to chat. I’ve been in this deep reflection mode, which usually happens around my birthday. I always seem to reflect, and go through a range of emotions near my bday time.
I find myself looking at my past, my present and my future. I’ve had years when this time has made me feel sad, some years I’ve been excited and I’ve even had years where I felt empty.
Today, as I think about turning another year older, and reflecting on some of the hardest years that I’ve ever had, I find myself feeling a little melancholy. I’m excited for what’s to come but I know that I haven’t truly mourned the things in my life that are no longer and in order to say good bye and allow the year ahead to be prosperous, I need to let go of my past.
So, I’m sitting here looking at the little girl in this picture. A little girl who has a life ahead of her that will be filled with love, joy and pain. Although she will endure some difficulties, she will thrive and survive. Her smile is full of possibilities and I can hear her giggle. I feel her innocence. I can feel how light she is without a care in the world except wondering when she can go and play.
I miss the feeling of being free of guilt, shame, depression, pain and sadness. However, I know that joy, love, freedom and peace are only a simple decision away.
So, on this birthday, as a gift to myself, I give to me, the freedom to be Jana’e Michelle Holmes. To laugh until my cheeks hurt, to follow the dreams like a child and just go for it. To live the rest of my remaining days on this earth being creative, loving unconditionally and giving my everything to those who need it.
I will celebrate with this little girl everyday this month and for the rest of our lives!
Happy Soon to be Birthday to us!
This Curvy Girl
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